Thursday, October 21, 2010

Walmart .. have we bit off more than we can chew?

     Every single time I am in Wal-mart I see something that makes me flinch.  Today I found an article that made me flinch.  It is from March 3, 2009. WHERE THE FUCK WAS I?! I would have been all over this shit.

Found at Walmart: 10 human teeth

Associated Press

March 3, 2009, 11:07PM

FALMOUTH, Mass. — A customer shopping at a Walmart in Falmouth told store workers he found 10 human teeth in a wallet he was about to purchase.
Police said the man found the teeth Saturday when he unzipped a compartment in the wallet. One tooth had a filling.
The customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to employees but left the store without giving his name.
Police investigating the incident told The Cape Cod Times that the teeth belong to an adult, but since there was no blood or gum tissue on the teeth, they would be unable to perform DNA tests.
A Walmart spokeswoman said the company believes it was an "isolated incident," but will investigate.



 They will INVESTIGATE! Heres a clue .. you let the fucking killer walk out the door.  SO here's a thought... wanna off someone? Put the only evidence the LYE didnt eat into a wallet at walmart.. act concerned and walk out the FUCKING DOOR without giving your FUCKING NAME.

Now I'm not a member of law enforcement but I clearly remember from class the person who finds it is prime suspect due to proximity.  Next week they'll have someone walk up and hand them a femur out of frozen foods from under a bag of tater tots.. holy saints fuck people!

Are they doing dentistry at Walmart now? No...

GO BACK TO THE FUCKING FOOTAGE ... the sick FUCK putting the teeth in the god damn wallet will be ON CAMERA!  

Could you see getting that shit home?

"Uh.. honey..."
"Yes dear?"
"This wallet is defective.."
"Oh yea, is it missing the photo holder?"
"No, there's an entire mouth full of fucking teeth in here.."
"Just take it back on Monday dear, they'll take anything back.."

OH MY FUUUUUUCKING GOOOOOD!!!

I know if I found a mouth full of teeth in MY WALLET.. Id be pissed.  I'd be at customer service like that lady at McDonald's that found a fucking finger in a bag of fries.  Id be on the phone with my lawyer and threatening to SUE the fucking ASS off of Walmart. And with my spare bit of attention span I would be chosing non dental infested furnishings to fill my new MILLION FUCKING dollar home. 

This would be the conversation...

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THE MANAGER!?!"
"I am the manager maam what can I do for you?"
"THERES A MOUTH FULL .. FUCKING FULL TO THE LEATHER FUCKING BRIM FULL.. of teeth inside this wallet..."
"What? May I see it?"
"Yea but don't take off with it.. Mommy needs a new set of egyptian cotton sheets and I'll need you to go ahead and change the name of this store to 'Tinner's mother fucking WalMart'.. Thank you.." Then into the phone on one shoulder, "Tell him Im in Walmart and I just found part of a body in my wallet...Oh he'll stop golfing for this.. Yes maam.. Yes... Ill hold"
I would smile sweetly and wriggle my little freckled nose at the manager and mouth "YOURE SO FUCKED" at him ..


Anyway, enough of the rant. I want to hear what yal think so please by all means, comment on my facebook or here in the blog under comments.

2 comments:

  1. I'm just glad I bought my wallet at Target. lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol that is just so bizarre. How thick can some people get!?

    ReplyDelete