Saturday, December 3, 2011

The collective stupidity

     Friday night I get home and sit down in my comfy computer chair. I do my usual.. I check facebook.. show forum.. blog.. ect... Someone had linked an article to their facebook page about a group who believed something that made me laugh out loud.  Now I am not wholly certain if it is, in fact, a parody or if it is, in fact, serious to these jackasses. (I say jackasses and yet I pride myself in being tolerant of others beliefs).  The thing is.. there are people out there who will grab this up hook line and sinker and put it into their mouths and consume it because LETS FACE IT.. PEOPLE EAT CRAZY. 
     They eat it up like a hot turkey dinner. They consume it and then SHIT OUT more crazy.  UFO conspiracy theories have never been my thing. I also haven't been very tolerant in the past of bat shit crazy religious theories. Hell, there just aren't a lot of things which I will hear or experience and not mock it in some way.  I'm a comedian. It is my job.  
Jesus is BORG!?!?!?! Fucking BORG?!?! Like Star Trek pure fucking fantasy BORG.. like a hive of mechanically laden human fucking BEES.... 
     The site is hosted and created by The Luciferian Liberation Front. An organization led by two men..
Rev. Lou Siffer -- Senior Pastor and Rev. Bill Z. Bubb -- Associate Pastor... fucking beautiful.  They also refer a few times in their sites to a J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. To inform you more on the ridiculousness of these people here is what Wikipedia says about Mr. Dobbs. 

"J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the bringer of destruction of all humanity is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s clip art. According to SubGenius dogma, "Bob" was a drilling equipment salesman who, in 1953, saw a vision of God (JHVH-1according to Church scriptures) on a television set he had built himself. The vision inspired him to write the "PreScriptures" (as described in the Book of the SubGenius) and found the Church. The theology holds that "Bob" is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and has cheated death a number of times. He is also revered for his great follies and believed to be a savior of "slack". He was assassinated in San Francisco in 1984, though the Church states that he has come back from the dead several times since then. And I quote from the book of Dobbs, "Don't do drugs, give them to "Bob"." The quotation marks in "Bob's" name are always included when spelling his name, according to the Church."

     These men are idiots. Their website is riddled with conspiracy theories as well as claims to their authenticity.  They do admit that some of their information is given in a tongue-in-cheek way however they do urge people to see the similarities in the media and the books they quote from the Bible.  
     Not only that but the GOD whom you've grown to know and love.. or not.. is actually not a deity but a cube shaped comet which NASA says exploded into dust and debris and is floating billions of miles away from us. They claim GOD is actually an abbreviation for the Galactic Obliteration Device. (G.O.D.) A ship housing Borg like qualities which will come back to take us all and force us into servitude to the one collective consciousness. FUCK ME! Are you FUCKING kidding me?!?! 
     We can't even get Christians to agree on a common fucking idea reguarding SIMPLE SHIT. How the fuck do you think you're going to get them on board for being turned into mindless computer driven drones?!?! Wait.. they already may be... moving on.. 
     They quote Revelations 21:16 to explain how the New Jerusalem will be a BORG cube... I keep putting that in CAPS so that you can hear the loathing and ridicule in my voice even as I type. At any rate.. I found the passage in the NKJ version of The Bible. 

     "The city was laid out like a square, as long as it was wide. He measured the city with the rod and found it to be 12,000 stadia in length, and as wide and high as it is long. Rev 21:16 NKJV" 

     Not only that but apparently Gene Roddenberry was a fucking PROPHET... to quote the site..  

     "The writers of Star Trek the Next Generation were being prophetic in their visions of the Borg ship when they portrayed it as a giant cube."  That's quoting the website "Jesus of Borg".. 

      So I wonder if Gene Roddenberry, a known Agnostic, would feel comfortable knowing that he has been slated as a prophet by these whacked out fucking nut jobs?! 
    I look up on Wikipedia to see what it says about religion in Star Trek. Here's what I found... 

"Although Roddenberry was raised as a Southern Baptist, he instead considered himself a humanist and agnostic. He saw religion as the cause of many wars and human suffering.[22] Brannon Braga has said that Roddenberry made it known to the writers of Star Trek and Star Trek: The Next Generation that religion and mystical thinking were not to be included, and that in Roddenberry's vision of Earth's future, everyone was an atheist and better for it.[23] However, Roddenberry included clear religious references in various episodes of both series under his watch. The original series episodes "Bread and Circuses", "Who Mourns for Adonais?" and "The Ultimate Computer", and the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Data's Day" are examples. On the other hand, "Metamorphosis", "The Empath", "Who Watches the Watchers", and several others reflect his agnostic views.
In the Star Trek Next Generation episode "Where Silence Has Lease" there is evidence that Captain Picard believes in a supernatural purpose for life."

      I'm betting he wasn't slating Jesus as a member of the Borg set on the destruction of all mankind. I could be wrong but I'm certain I'm likely not. 
     All I can imagine is how awkward the Last Supper would have been if Jesus had been a BORG.. it would be like eating with a transformer. “This is my body”... would have been awkward... Im betting this would change how the communion is received.  They'll have to wrap the bread in tin foil and you will have to eat the foil as well to get the full effect. "This is my blood"... wow.. where to start.. well let's just say considering the number of churches in the south alone.. figure in for lemons you have to dump a quart in every week... and there wont be a quart of oil left on a single automotive store SHELF...   That or considering if Jesus was an alien then maybe they can drink Green Kool-aid at communions... I bet that'll be ok.. 
     There are many more crazy ass fucking claims and jargon shit out into this website and what's worse is several news outlets have grabbed it up and taken it seriously.  Not that I'm even remotely saying that editorial staffs across the world could find their asses in a dark room with both hands and a flashlight but SERIOUSLY... WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!??!  

     I will leave you with the link to the site so that you too can partake of the ridiculous bullshit... 
                                                                     Jesus of Borg

I also made a charming photo which I think best shows the ridiculousness of these claims... 
That is all... That is all... 

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