Wednesday, November 9, 2011

10 tips for handling a UFO sighting

According to MUFON, the Mutual UFO Network, if you have a close encounter with an unidentified flying object, there are ten things that you should do to make the most of the experience. 
1. REMAIN CALM, but protect yourself from any hazards real or perceived.
2. Be objective. Not every UFO is extraterrestrial.
3. Use a camcorder or camera to record the event.
4. If you have a tape recorder, record your description of the event as it happens.
5. If other witnesses are present ask them to also write or record their observations.
6. If the UFO left some trace of its presence behind do not disturb the area around it.
7. If the sighting is from a distance, at an arms length, what would it take to cover up the object? A Quarter? A Penny?
8. Try to judge the distance from you to the object, the objects altitude, and its speed.
9. Should you encounter some type extraterrestrial being associated with the craft be prepared to take evasive action to protect yourself.
10. Immediately report the event to a UFO research organization.

Here is the list that I have compiled 
1. Try not to shit on yourself. You'll need to stand in front of the camera later and you don't want your overalls or moo moo to be stained. 
2. Remember if you're still here its not that you weren't attractive enough to be probed. 
3. Use a camera to record the incident and try not to let your brother do it he's been drinkin' since noon and 5 minutes of your cousin Lisa's cleavage with screams about "extryterrestrals" in the background doesn't make the news (in america) 
4. If all you got is a karaoke machine your cousin brought to the party last Christmas put a cassette in it and commentate the entire experience between gulps of beer. 
5. If yer kin are around when it happens make sure they all write the events down .. if they can't write then use your junior college degree to write it for them as they tell it to you. 
6. If the ufo left anything behind try not to put it into your mouth and definitely don't take it back and put it on your mantel next to uncle Red's trophy buck. 
7. if its in the distance try to see what would cover it up at an arms distance.. like a beer can.. a coozie.. or a def leopard 8 track... 
8. Try to guage if the ufo was faster than or slower than that 12 point buck you almost shot from the passenger window of yer aunt's jacked up Blazer as it ran from the highway last year. 
9. If you encounter an extryterrestral beein from the ship make sure you remember your kay-rah-tey. If you have yer 30-30 shoot at it. 
10. call every news station and radio station in the country.. and dont forget to call yer family.. Wear yer huntin gear when yer on the air.. itll look more professional ta the military people. 

Remember .. ufo's are no laughing matter.. take every encounter seriously. 

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