What is it to be well known? It means five a.m. Skype calls and random messages on facebook. It means never having a moment that EVERYONE in God's creation doesnt know about. It means people "KNOW" you. People "Love" you. It means stalkers. Cyber stalkers and real life watching you pee stalkers.
I have had a few of these on facebook the conversation goes as follows.
OMG I LOVE YOU! You are AWESOME!
Thank you so much! :D
Can I have a lock of your hair?
WTF?
Or we could chat here .. whatever's cool with you...
...
When did it become ok to start asking complete strangers EVERYTHING about thier daily life? I KNOW its not OK with me! I had a guy the other night tell me he wanted me to change my hair color back to BLACK! I had another one tell me he was disappointed in my photo that I had put on facebook because he hated to see me not smiling and I had such a beautiful smile. I was like OK well if im not smiling WHERE HAS THIS STRANGER SEEN ME SMILE!?!
I will say something on the radio. I get comments ranging from OMG to HAHA to YOURE AN ASSHOLE to YOU HAVE NO CLASS THAT'S NOT FUNNY. I even got called Racist one day for saying that I couldn't speak French. I was like "well im sorry I had no idea that not hating the french meant speaking their language! No wonder they seem so snobby! THEY THINK NO ONE LIKES THEM!" I wanted to tell her Listen your language sounds sexy but its hard for me to pronounce because of all the years I spent drinking American Beer and smoking American cigarettes... But I DIDNT!
ALL the time I get lumped in with the "Para Celebrity" bunch. First of all Im not a celebrity. IM well known. IM NOT EVEN THAT WELL KNOWN PEOPLE. In fact the only thing I have in common with most of these people is Facebook and research. Yes, I'm on the radio. YES, I know well connected people. YES, I am gifted. However, with all of this para-drama going on lately I dont want to be lumped in with the other "Para Celebs" and their retarded delusions of grandeur.
Now dont get me wrong there are some AWESOME and BADASS people out there I would consider of celebrity status. However Drama isnt what got them there .. their integrity is what got them that recognition. They are unshakable in their craft and they are knowledgeable, and they are LOYAL!
I get a lot of people on my facebook who think that i am this sweet charming little southern girl from Oklahoma. Here's the thing. IM AN ASSHOLE. Im not sweet. I make fun of people for a living. Im a GOD DAMNED COMEDIAN! No, I dont give a SHIT if what I say on a radio show offends you. Don't listen. I dont give a shit if my status offends you... UNADD ME! If its funny and it pays me Im gonna do it.
I am however fiercely loyal to my friends and family. NOT MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS who are no closer to me than the click of the button that put them there. I love and ADORE my family. I love and adore so many people it would be hard to list them for fear of forgetting someone. Listen up! They matter. You are a fan...
I liked when facebook had that distinction. When you could FAN someone instead of LIKE them. I can guarantee you will never hear me say OOOOOooo BOB.. Finklestein from Oregon LIKES ME MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!! I go.. oh.. well i guess you can stay. I click allow and I NEVER LOOK AT YOUR PROFILE AGAIN UNLESS YOU COMMENT ON MY PAGE!
I get tired of the messages from the unsolicited psychics out there bringing doom to my doorstep as a means of soliciting readings. I dont mind when someone with a REAL gift comes to me and says HEY look I got a message for you and you need to hear it. I have a problem when I open my mail and the headline reads as follows.
OMG I SAW YOU DIE IN A VISION. COME TO MY SITE AND ILL TELL YOU MORE.
I can guarantee if i click on that link its either a virus or a paypal link. Heres the thing. I AM A PSYCHIC WHY WOULD I PAY YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW?!
I can see how taking payment for services is viable. Im not going to belittle your idea of the value of your time. All I ASK is that you WAIT UNTIL I COME TO YOU BEFORE YOU TRY TO SELL ME SHIT AND TELL ME ITS GOLD.
I have all the bullshit I can handle people. Im not a fertilizer salesman, Im not a farmer, and i dont have a garden. Which means THAT I HAVE ALL OF THE SHIT I CAN HANDLE RIGHT NOW AND I DONT NEED YOURS.
Now dont get me wrong I am greatful for my fans. But be fans for christ's sake DONT TRY TO MOVE IN WITH ME AND SLEEP ON THE FOOT OF MY BED. I HAVE A LAP DOG THANK YOU MUCH. DONT PROFESS YOUR LOVE TO ME ON FACEBOOK. I COULD PRETTY MUCH GIVE A DAMN IF YOU FEEL LIKE IM YOUR SOULMATE. I HAVE MATED. MOVE ON.
Please feel free to read my wall.. view my comments... watch videos of me.. whatever.. I LOVE my fans I DO. BUT I DONT LOVE THEM LIKE A PIRATE LOVES HOOKERS. THERE ARE LIMITS. I will not LOVE your pocketbook.
I understand its lonely in bat shit crazy land but seriously.... Save me the crazy talk.. I am crazy enough for one of us.
I have had a few of these on facebook the conversation goes as follows.
OMG I LOVE YOU! You are AWESOME!
Thank you so much! :D
Can I have a lock of your hair?
WTF?
Or we could chat here .. whatever's cool with you...
...
When did it become ok to start asking complete strangers EVERYTHING about thier daily life? I KNOW its not OK with me! I had a guy the other night tell me he wanted me to change my hair color back to BLACK! I had another one tell me he was disappointed in my photo that I had put on facebook because he hated to see me not smiling and I had such a beautiful smile. I was like OK well if im not smiling WHERE HAS THIS STRANGER SEEN ME SMILE!?!
I will say something on the radio. I get comments ranging from OMG to HAHA to YOURE AN ASSHOLE to YOU HAVE NO CLASS THAT'S NOT FUNNY. I even got called Racist one day for saying that I couldn't speak French. I was like "well im sorry I had no idea that not hating the french meant speaking their language! No wonder they seem so snobby! THEY THINK NO ONE LIKES THEM!" I wanted to tell her Listen your language sounds sexy but its hard for me to pronounce because of all the years I spent drinking American Beer and smoking American cigarettes... But I DIDNT!
ALL the time I get lumped in with the "Para Celebrity" bunch. First of all Im not a celebrity. IM well known. IM NOT EVEN THAT WELL KNOWN PEOPLE. In fact the only thing I have in common with most of these people is Facebook and research. Yes, I'm on the radio. YES, I know well connected people. YES, I am gifted. However, with all of this para-drama going on lately I dont want to be lumped in with the other "Para Celebs" and their retarded delusions of grandeur.
Now dont get me wrong there are some AWESOME and BADASS people out there I would consider of celebrity status. However Drama isnt what got them there .. their integrity is what got them that recognition. They are unshakable in their craft and they are knowledgeable, and they are LOYAL!
I get a lot of people on my facebook who think that i am this sweet charming little southern girl from Oklahoma. Here's the thing. IM AN ASSHOLE. Im not sweet. I make fun of people for a living. Im a GOD DAMNED COMEDIAN! No, I dont give a SHIT if what I say on a radio show offends you. Don't listen. I dont give a shit if my status offends you... UNADD ME! If its funny and it pays me Im gonna do it.
I am however fiercely loyal to my friends and family. NOT MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS who are no closer to me than the click of the button that put them there. I love and ADORE my family. I love and adore so many people it would be hard to list them for fear of forgetting someone. Listen up! They matter. You are a fan...
I liked when facebook had that distinction. When you could FAN someone instead of LIKE them. I can guarantee you will never hear me say OOOOOooo BOB.. Finklestein from Oregon LIKES ME MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!! I go.. oh.. well i guess you can stay. I click allow and I NEVER LOOK AT YOUR PROFILE AGAIN UNLESS YOU COMMENT ON MY PAGE!
I get tired of the messages from the unsolicited psychics out there bringing doom to my doorstep as a means of soliciting readings. I dont mind when someone with a REAL gift comes to me and says HEY look I got a message for you and you need to hear it. I have a problem when I open my mail and the headline reads as follows.
OMG I SAW YOU DIE IN A VISION. COME TO MY SITE AND ILL TELL YOU MORE.
I can guarantee if i click on that link its either a virus or a paypal link. Heres the thing. I AM A PSYCHIC WHY WOULD I PAY YOU TO TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW?!
I can see how taking payment for services is viable. Im not going to belittle your idea of the value of your time. All I ASK is that you WAIT UNTIL I COME TO YOU BEFORE YOU TRY TO SELL ME SHIT AND TELL ME ITS GOLD.
I have all the bullshit I can handle people. Im not a fertilizer salesman, Im not a farmer, and i dont have a garden. Which means THAT I HAVE ALL OF THE SHIT I CAN HANDLE RIGHT NOW AND I DONT NEED YOURS.
Now dont get me wrong I am greatful for my fans. But be fans for christ's sake DONT TRY TO MOVE IN WITH ME AND SLEEP ON THE FOOT OF MY BED. I HAVE A LAP DOG THANK YOU MUCH. DONT PROFESS YOUR LOVE TO ME ON FACEBOOK. I COULD PRETTY MUCH GIVE A DAMN IF YOU FEEL LIKE IM YOUR SOULMATE. I HAVE MATED. MOVE ON.
Please feel free to read my wall.. view my comments... watch videos of me.. whatever.. I LOVE my fans I DO. BUT I DONT LOVE THEM LIKE A PIRATE LOVES HOOKERS. THERE ARE LIMITS. I will not LOVE your pocketbook.
I understand its lonely in bat shit crazy land but seriously.... Save me the crazy talk.. I am crazy enough for one of us.
